hindsight

The Brick has been out of sorts the last two weeks.  At first we blamed it on the upcoming full moon.  He seems to respond to it the three to five days beforehand.  Next, we blamed it on some schedule changes and the Teen’s back to school schedule changing since he decided to join rowing crew.  After that, we thought it may be my father-in law’s (FIL) medical condition (He was diagnosed about 3 months ago Acute Myelogenous Leukemia.  It is an incurable form of Leukemia.  He has not been responding well to the chemo therapy treatment to slow/manage the process.)   Then last night Hubs asks when we last had the Brick’s med levels done.

A-HA!!!!!

The Brick seems to go through a pattern with one of his meds.  He will take dose A for about a year, then his levels get too high so the doc backs off the dose.  Then, about six months later he will start to get agitated and combative, more in the evenings but during the days as well.  Guess what?  It has been about 6 months since the med dosage was decreased.  I will call tomorrow and request labs so we can have the results for our visit after Labor Day.

The last two weeks have been really rough; I am very relieved that we think we know what the issue is.  We hope.  But there may be more to come.

This morning we told him, we had already told the Teen, that his grandfather has decided to stop chemo therapy.  It is not managing the Leukemia and he has some negative side effects.  We knew this would come, we hoped it would be further in the future.  We live close (about 45 minutes away) and see him and his wife often.  We know this will have an effect on the Brick.  My father passed away just over a year ago after a relatively long period on Hospice.  This is not new to us but seems so unfair.  Our boys just lost one grandfather that they were very close to and now they are losing the other.  We do not know how long we have.

We had plans for brunch next weekend, but my FIL was feeling pretty good this weekend and my sister in law and her daughter are in town, so we went over this morning instead.  It was a nice meal and time together.  We spent a little time at the yacht club pool after we ate, so the kids could swim.  There were two other families there.  All in all things went well, but the Brick was ‘off’ and confrontational with his brother and me.  I know the Brick doesn’t always have the mental health/emotional vocabulary to express himself well and that he will often ‘act out’ when dealing with anxiety, unfamiliar emotions and stress, so I gave him a little more slack today than usual.  He was riding home with Hubs and I was taking the Teen so we could run some errands.  I kissed him bye, said I love you and sent him off.  One of the other moms there comments, “We love them when they leave.” And she chuckled.   It struck me so strongly that I was speechless.  I quickly gathered our things and the Teen and left.  In hindsight I wish I had thought to say

“I always love him.  It’s his grandfather dying and his Autism that I dislike.”

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One response to “hindsight

  1. =( i am sorry to hear about what’s happening in your life.. and i can see how that affects everyone. also interesting what you say about the moon. i am the most un-superstitious person in the world but full moon does a thing to my kid, too..(it moves the oceans..so of course it does).
    to that other mom’s comment.. i get that you are upset, and she would have fully deserved the comment would you have been able to dish it out on the spot (hate it too when i think of the right snappy thing only later). but the hind-hindsight to it might be, that it was her way of showing understanding, complicity between mothers who struggle sometimes and yes, are glad at times when they can get out if it. in a clumsy insensitive way, yes, and it’s always better to not say anything unless you know a bit more about someone, but I am sure you have also heard worse remarks, maybe in front of your kids, or seen the looks (or stares, or snickers) on judgemental faces. don’t let it bring you down further,..you guys have enough to deal with. all my sympathies for you and your family.

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