Tag Archives: children

One step forward and a big shove back….

I am so sad.  I feel like we took a nice step forward with starting the little brick in a social skills group, but have now been shoved 10 steps back.  The behavior therapist that runs the group called and “feels he needs more one on one.”  We have done three years of one on one and have graduated from it.  I asked why and she said “he makes in socially inappropriate comments.” 

Excuse Me?  Isn’t that why he is there?  Isn’t that what you are supposed to be working on?

 I asked for examples and explanation and she shared that he will make an off topic comment or say something inappropriate when he feels he is being corrected or has been slighted.  She doesn’t feel like she can address the comments and behavior in the class because she has other kids in there too. 

The little brick will say things like that in those situations and will sometimes shut down.  I am not one of those moms that is blind her child’s needs and skills to be improved.   I am positive it is the perfectionist in him.  He feels the need to be correct (in facts, opinion or social acceptance) and will get frustrated and seek to escape (either by shutting down or leaving the room) when he thinks he is not correct.  He is not aggressive or abusive.  He does not elope or run and hide; he just wants to get out of the situation. 

 In and of itself her recommendation is not that big of a deal.  There is most definitely more he can learn and skills he can improve on with one on one behavior therapy.  More one on one is possible (if we can get the new insurance to cover it); the problem is he will view it as a step back, a failure.  He has “graduated” from one on one and moved on to a group setting—and is enjoying it.  He actually likes it! 

We are working on some solutions, but I am not sure what will happen.  My heart is broken!  He has worked so hard and come so far and is finally motivated and enjoying a group social setting, albeit therapeutic.  I can’t even think about what this will do to his social anxiety and already fragile self esteem.  All I want is for him to be happy and successful.  I don’t know what that will look like in another 10-15 years, but I don’t think it is too much to ask for.